Now it makes since

Well here is an epiphany moment ...... I have for years said that I was using someone else's idea of fun ......... Turns out I was right, I have been using the worlds view instead of God's ...... It is amazing how we let the daily struggles life push God to the side till He only occupies small moments of our lives ...... Reading Brother Lawrence's words on keeping God in our every moment ... OUCH ...... Time to reevaluate ........

Impossibilities

Impossibilities ...... an elephant in a tree, so ......... Just found a letter I started way back when.... it describes, most likely, the hardest year in my life (1996/1997)...... It also describes

how I dealt with it spiritually..... Looking back from here, and remembering all that was in the letter and what wasn't ..... seeing the faith written on those pages ...... remembering ...... the long hours in the Word, the even longer hours of believing and standing ........ In the natural I would not of survived, (wonder how the kids remember that year).

Just recently the Lord said to 'center myself in the saddle'. I know that when I first heard those words, The above time came to my mind and I let fear sneak into my mind...... God reminded me that life does not have to be traumatic to require you to be centered. LOL, he also has reminded me that you can always improve where you are. (will not go into how long it took for me to realize what God was trying to tell me)

SOOOOOOOOOOO, what am I writing about? Nothing, everything ...... A reminder to self, that I've faced impossible situations and with God's help I won...... that what ever is going on in my life now, is beatable with a firm stance in the Lord.

Poohism

another Internet picture .........

One of the very best quotes worth remembering comes from Disney's Winnie the Pooh (not the original pooh)

" I'm not lost I'm right where I'm standing".

true to life ..... you must add .... And that is where God placed me ....

Continued from art

Connection with others ............ Unconditional love .... Profound, tinder, enthusiastic, affection for another from a perfect, unlimited, nonjudgmental positive (non hostile) position.

Supporting, to carry the weight of another without giving way, to provide w/necessities of life, to endure and tolerate/ to submit to, and to uphold as valid.

endure- to bear patiently w/out yielding (not letting go)

tolerate - to allow w/out hindrance- put up with

Nurture, to feed and protect, encourage, educate, train (a life giving relationship).

Friend, attached. bound by emotional ties or affection (devoted to).

devoted- earnest attachment to __________

profound dedication to __________

Hostile, characteristic of an enemy, someone who wants harm or has prejudicial feelings towards another. Opposing words and or actions.

Does the above describe how you interact with others, Christian or not ........ Wait the hostile part ...... OH yea, we are to be non-hostile, the opposite of ............. Stop and think about it .....

Art/ relationships

Playing on the painting software can make even me an artist .... My art is usually in the three dimension form, how I wish I could make what I see show up on a piece of canvas, kinda like a photo .... I do not have the "eye" transfer life onto paper with out some distortion (some days lots of distortion) .......



Our Spiritual life, is like that sometimes ..... We see fail to transfer the truth into our everyday ..... I do not mean we lie and cheat and steal ..... No, we get the instructions, take off trying to follow them, and yet we do not understand what they truly mean.

One of the questions from my small group was "What kind of connection do you think Christ wants you to have with Christian brother and sisters?" The obvious answers are: to Love unconditionally ...... to support and nurture ...... to be a friend. Most of us do not do our family that way, much less acquaintances and strangers .... or those who's thinking and acting are just weird (oh-- wait -- that's me) .....

To love unconditionally -----a profound, tinder, enthusiastic affection for another in a perfect unlimited positive (not mixed) for certain manner ......

Inside dogs

These are the inside dogs, the ones who could not understand why Diva should be the only one talked about ..... Arn't they cute.

Frustration

A friend of mine paid for 3 months on an online dating site ...... I'm not good at going out and talking to people where it might mean something ...... and this is driving me crazy ..... I am attempting to talk to people and not doing very good at it .... would not go back on the site again, exept she paind good money for two more months ...... lol ... it feels kind of like shopping for socks ..... and so many people want to find that special someone ... I would too, but this is almost like begging someone to think I am someone to talk to ...... Thinking that today is not the time to make decisions on anything. (Not that my decision would make much difference.) LOL thinking this is timeout for winning, should go and get some roses .............................

Zeb

See the beauty in the front? His name is Zeb, this may be a repeat, but he pulled a cute one the night after Nita went home ...... I had put him in her old pen and he was a major toot to get there, at the gate he buggered, (this horse is yard art, he is unstable on his feet, eats like a pig, and give kisses when in the mood) ..... He became ..... WILD MAN... snorting and bucking and running around the yard .... after he let me catch him, into the pen he went, being assured that Nita did not die in the pen and everything was OK ..... I fed everyone and all was well ....... Went out to dinner and when I came back I had the thought to go out and check on the guys, (all three are pictured here) ....... Zeb, was lying down, sitting up but down, (I was not ready for anyone to lie down at this point) so I went into his pen, walked around to the front of him and said 'Zeb, what you doing?' ........ His response ......... to fall over on his side ........ Do not have a clue if he was asleep and just fell over, if I scared him and he fainted or (my guess) he was just being a sh** and playing with me ....... My reaction ..... to get behind him and yell and stomp till he got up and call the vet to come check him out ...... Good thing my vet is smarter than me .... She got me some meds to relax him told me she would check him out in the am, which she did and there was nothing wrong with the cutie, except maybe a real sick since of humor ..... I do wonder if he thought I put him in the pen to put him down ... LOL

Sleeping, moments

Again another photo that came in via E-mail. Some people have the best luck taking pictures, my animals are cute till the camera comes out then it is: duah!!!!! aren't these guys cute .....

Do not know why but it seems like I can not get enough sleep lately, maybe it is the cold winter, nah, we have had weather in the mid to high 50's, with lots of sun. In fact for all the days I get to sleep in the day time (graves) there will be plenty of sun ..... (if it is light you need to be up and doing) ..... I have tricks to make me believe it is ok to be asleep when the sun is out ..... This does look good, being outside in the sun and (warm) just lazing around .....

Told the other animals that I wrote about Diva yesterday and they all said ' why her, why not me ..... ' LOL Will have to watch for fun things to talk about.

Got a Blessing today, was able to switch shifts and will be able to go to small group early for the dinner that is planned, the pastor's B-day is on monday ..... Get to go home and find something to fix......

Today's thoughts

The freedom to create ..... do not know where i got this picture, besides loving the topic and the colors it I got a cat who given the opportunity would be right there..... Diva, named for Prima ballerina, not demon, is something to behold. Found by a friend out in the weeds and almost dead from dehydration and malnutrition she shows no signs of her early life. Diva, is the curtain climbing variety of cat, in fact her best trick is to be on top of my clothes sharing her long white hair with all I own. I have a weakness for dried roses, Diva took care of all that I had, the dried parts are being vacuumed from all corners of the house, did leave the stems up for a while so she had something to play with. This morning the great sport was to run up and down the hall for no apparent reason other than it was there to do....... she was creating her own fun. No one else in the house was into that game so she did it by herself for at least 15 minutes. Creating time to have fun is something that seems missing in what I do lately, maybe I should take a hint from the crazy one at the house and make time for fun ....... (No, I will not be running up and down the hall) ........

New Year, New Thoughts

Just finishing the third graveyard shift this week, then home to bed to be back at work at 2pm today, and again at 6am on sunday.................. this week is wearing me down .......... Next pay period I start two graveyards a week again ........ Getting toooooo old for these kind of turn-arounds.

Enjoyed Christmas with the grand kids and most of my kids...... Could of watched them interact for a few more days before I came back to my world. The big city was a very busy place to be, everyone having somewhere to go .....

Got back to frozen pipes, stopped up sewage and snow !!! Got the water going, the sewage unblocked (uck) and the snow is almost all gone, just in time for sunday's storm. My car which I asked God for 'a few more days till I go on vacation', went down for the count on sunday when i was coming home from small group. Beautiful night, stars out and crystal clear. Nada dog and i enjoyed the wait for the tow truck. I was extra lucky, being part of the system, I got a deputy dispatched right after the wrecker, so I got to stay warm for the wait. Do not know the extent of the problem, but it will be major.

Schedule change left me working instead of going to a friend's for dinner on monday, surprise, surprise, both ladies showed up with turkey dinner, desert, and keys to a pick up so I am not on foot.... Kinda nice to realize that at my age I have acquired some totally awesome friends.

Got news another friend is in the hospital with possible cardiac, have not been able to get back with her LOL!!!! maybe in the afternoon today.....

I got a 3 month subscription to a dating site from a co-worker for birthday/Christmas gift .... that is a whole new bundle of sticks ..... I can not seem to get a picture on the site .... everything on my computer is not the right format !!!! It is weird to see all those people looking for someone, and it is kinda like shopping when you go in and read the profiles; look good, fit the right questions, write the right words, live in the right area ......... talk about an area for major rejection.

Needing to get ready for my replacement to come in, and run as fast as I can to bed so I can be back in 8 hrs. The dogs are really going to love this one.

Life is fun, just wish I could use my definition of fun, not this mixed up one ......